Sunday, September 28, 2008

What marriage is NOT about

Many movies likes to show big happy ending of a couple finally tying the knot, big smiling faces, the warmth, the celebration of two people uniting. And you leave the cinema feeling, ahhh......they are together at last, happily ever after, The End.

As a sequel to that movie, the plot should be moving towards that very couple, arguing about money, having sleepless nights over baby, trying to find balance amongst all while trying to heaven forbid- not let the fire die in their relationship.

Enter Reality- Getting married just marks the end of a life phase (no, no, its not that bad as the end of your life! Though sometimes it feels like it :-P)...and the start of another chapter.

Another chapter where you suddenly find the person you thought you knew the most can sometimes turns out to be a stranger. Who is this? Why has this person never surfaced pre-marriage??!!

And whoo-hoo, tell me about the great S word now that you are married. Make it married with kids.

Throw a stone to couples out there, ask this- how many of you have sex less than once a week, or sheesh...once a month! And you'll hear, guilty as charged.

For how can one feel sexy and be sexual (now this applies more for women than men- cause well, you know men, two 'heads' certainly doesn't think alike) can one feel sexy when you have forgotten what it feels like to be a Woman- to be you; prior to all these juggling act of work, cooking, kiddies homework, dancing around in-laws sneaky landmines, responsibilities, responsibilities, work, work, work, etc?!

When's the last time you & your life partner have a really good night out together- where your focus is on each other. Just like in the early stages of relationship? Or you'll go out, and you talk about kids & work.

When's the last time you see your life partner as a Person, an INDIVIDUAL instead of the hats they wear, wife, hubby, father, mother?

When did you stopped discovering about each other? And start ASSUMING and PRE-JUDGING each other instead?

For everything a good marriage should be- it's not about losing yourself, your identity...

and it's certainly not about losing sight of each other.