What marriage is NOT about

Many movies likes to show big happy ending of a couple finally tying the knot, big smiling faces, the warmth, the celebration of two people uniting. And you leave the cinema feeling, ahhh......they are together at last, happily ever after, The End.

As a sequel to that movie, the plot should be moving towards that very couple, arguing about money, having sleepless nights over baby, trying to find balance amongst all while trying to heaven forbid- not let the fire die in their relationship.

Enter Reality- Getting married just marks the end of a life phase (no, no, its not that bad as the end of your life! Though sometimes it feels like it :-P)...and the start of another chapter.

Another chapter where you suddenly find the person you thought you knew the most can sometimes turns out to be a stranger. Who is this? Why has this person never surfaced pre-marriage??!!

And whoo-hoo, tell me about the great S word now that you are married. Make it married with kids.

Throw a stone to couples out there, ask this- how many of you have sex less than once a week, or sheesh...once a month! And you'll hear, guilty as charged.


For how can one feel sexy and be sexual (now this applies more for women than men- cause well, you know men, two 'heads' certainly doesn't think alike)

...how can one feel sexy when you have forgotten what it feels like to be a Woman- to be you; prior to all these juggling act of work, cooking, kiddies homework, dancing around in-laws sneaky landmines, responsibilities, responsibilities, work, work, work, etc?!


When's the last time you & your life partner have a really good night out together- where your focus is on each other. Just like in the early stages of relationship? Or you'll go out, and you talk about kids & work.


When's the last time you see your life partner as a Person, an INDIVIDUAL instead of the hats they wear, wife, hubby, father, mother?


When did you stopped discovering about each other? And start ASSUMING and PRE-JUDGING each other instead?


For everything a good marriage should be- it's not about losing yourself, your identity...

and it's certainly not about losing sight of each other.

Remember- Me Inc

Was preparing to go out with hubby for dinner at where else Gardens Mid Valley (this has become our fav neighbourhood convenience store- get everything from groceries, presents, toiletries, movies, dining out, happy hours, banking, business appointments...you name it)

...and back to my story, was changing my clothes to head out for dinner. Felt like dining out with hubby, just the two of us, no kids, NO talk about biz, and I want to look good just for a bit.

Since its our neighbourhood store, where you see me almost always dressed (you called it dressed?!) in very very casual outfits, I thought I put on a jeans, and choose a nice top to go with. After two failed attempts, I picked a long forgotten pleasant cotton halterneck top. And I caught myself hesitating for a while, is this too nice for Mid Valley?

And there you have it, I surprised myself how much I've changed. The more I mature, the more mellowed I've become. But it is really me? Or is there a part of me that got submerged in all the routine, the responsibilities, the worries, the to-do's...that I've forgotten how to live...occasionally.

Today I realized, I've unknowingly let the stress of modern life piled on me yet again. Yep, all the signs are showing. Irritations, insomnia, the suffocation feeling- the I need to get out!! feeling.

Luckily, my dear girl friend Minsch is back in KL. And we sort of have this flow with it consensus that we should nurture our friendship a wee bit more- action plan # 1: we'll catch up more compared with last time where we don't even call/text each other for weeks & months.

So, we have arranged a girly date this Sat for some nice din & drinks, and loads of yik yakking. SOS!
I can't remember the last time we done that, go out on a Sat. It's been years maybe? GOSH!

No wonder I lost myself. No wonder I started dressing down a tad too much, work a bit too much (yes or no? the thing with my work is, sometimes the line crosses between work & interest therefore there's a tendency to work past the hour coz i got too engrossed in it), worry way too much, temper flared up definitely over the quota (bless my hubby)

It is with this, that I decided to put on my nice floral cotton green halterneck top, wore my new nice earrings, put on a bit of make up (hey, c'mon, a girl needs help with her eye circles), fluff up my hair, and off I go. Feeling good, feeling very good.

As it is too easy to be buried under the routine, the blah of a mundane life, completing as many tasks as possible, donning several hats in a day- biz, wife, mother, daughter...than remembering what is life all about, just remember this-

It is a habit to treat yourself well, and very importantly- remember You.

This is not the pleasure of shopping

AVOID - all member pre-sale. You take the trouble to go there and it's a mad house.

Today is the 1st time i went to Isetan KLCC member presale, coz I saw a blouse I like in their newsletter.

What preview? It's packed with mad shoppers, apparently, nobody works in the afternoon on a Friday, or there must be a lot of business people there who doesn't need to report back to their office after lunch!
The whole departmental store is warm and stuffy, queues are damn long, queue for fitting, queue for spending $ there.

What baloney!

In search of real bodies & real life

With a goal in my mind, and a workaholic attitude, I still can't get my butt to bed at this hour, and was instead inspired to work on my Vision board.

Vision board- a place where I display my goals, ideals, images, well, visions- of how I want things to be, life to be.

And tonight, I'm doing a short term board- just till Dec 08.

That will include 2 major area- my personal wealth accumulation (income, invest, income, invest), and after being VERY 'motivated' after seeing myself in my bikini, my health & fitness regime. (yet again, after a hiatus, and hiccups for, oh well, 3 years???)

Well, actually I've embarked on both of them, but felt it's necessary to keep it VISUAL and visible to remind me and keeps me going.

So, I went searching for 'inspiring' bodies from my pile of beauty mags.
Nope, too skinny, nope, too perfect, too hopeful for 3 months target. Gimme a real lady who looks good, not super model skinny.
Guess what, I can't find any f****** photos that resembles reality.

And that's the problem isn't it?

For reality doesn't inspire? For in a real world, you do have a lil tum, tits that do sag, eyes that do look tired- but not in the beauty world.

In the beauty world, you'll find celebrity moms that look as hot they they do 10 years ago, even though they just popped a baby 2 months ago. They look great being preggers, they make motherhood glamorous, and it seems like having a baby is the latest accessory to die for.

And in my idealistic little world, I'm a got-it-all-together businesswoman who always has time for her daughter, time for myself, cook wonderful meals for my husband, are fit, and the list goes on...
Truth of the matter is- No, I don't always have time for my daughter, as the to-do list is ever beckoning; no, sometimes I even forgot to chilled out on my own, and spend hours just reading; no, even cooking a loving meals can turn stressful when time is short...

It is time like this, that I need to take a step back, and toss whatever is on my juggling plate.
Age & experience has taught me, the more you multi-task, the more you piled on your plate, the less you get to accomplish.

It's ok for life to be a little bit imbalance at times, and realistic.

Ooh the excitement of investment!!

The world had went very colourful recently- no, I'm not talking about Malaysia's political scene (not keen, not keen, not keen), but the investment world!

I've been following closely on the US stocks- one for example AIG, and lately have been staying up late (late by my beauty sleep definition means past 11pm) reading real time news from US websites.

The heart pumping excitement starts when AIG stock plummets from USD12 plus to USD4.37 yesterday 15.9.08, and NOW USD2 16.9.08!
The peak price was USD70+.
Imagined- for RM7.00, you can't even get Public Bank stock.

Now, I can understand the thrill when people invest in stock market.

But this is where the true investors separate themselves from the greedy hordes.
For true investors do their homework & due diligence, and somehow managed to separate emotions from their decisions. Where else the rest of the gang- either blindly follows or face unnecessary panic attack, and sell when they should have hold on. They may be ignorant or plain lazy to put the effort in getting their facts right, and depends a little too much on gut feeling.

Bringing it up a notch, my appetite is whet for options trading though. And I foresee in the near future, this investment vehicle will see my constant visit.
These few days excitement will be sweet for option traders, beautiful.

Now, it's the time 'to be greedy when others are fearful'.
Quote from Warren Buffett- 'Be fearful when other's are greedy, be greedy when other's are fearful'.

My Merdeka Shoe

In the quest to hunt for a great pair of shoes comfy enough for my upcoming Hong Kong walkathon, without breaking my back, I trawled the malls for two days in search of The One.

Almost surrendering to my urgh Crocs perception, I nearly bought a pair if not for some divine intervention that prevents me from finding the size the fits, the colour & model I want.
In fact I went to TWO Crocs concept store.

Nope, they don't have what I thought I wanted, and I have to go all the way to another mall in Sunway. On a Sunday, public holiday, almost noon.
Heaven forbid no!

If there is one thing I have great restrain on, is to avoid ALL malls after 11am on weekends, contrary to 80% of people who's idea of spending their precious time is to be stuck in a snaking crawl to get in the mall.

I need an alternative.

Bless the internet, I remembered that there was a *gasp* Bata concept shop, and they sell *gasp* Power shoes. Which I clearly remembered was my 1st sport shoes back when I was earning crap, and it lasted me well for 3 years.

Another thing I remembered well is the price tag. Pleasingly easy on the pocket, very easy.
They should have good walking shoes (not those bulky sport shoes please!)

So off I went, and with recommendation of a very helpful Chinese saleslady (what a rarity these days), tried on a cool looking pair. Fits beautifully, comfy. It's the criteria that I'm looking for- has to be covered, good soles, soft, decent design, good quality.
It fulfills all of it- plus bonus point- it's only RM69.99! Oh my freaking god!
And when I thought things couldn't get better, the girl told me it's 50% off! ARGHHH!!!!

With much spare cash left, I 'upgraded' the shoes by adding what my poor ole knees & back need- Medigel insoles. (U know, the ones for those above age 60, I think!)
Plus 4 pairs of socks.
Total: RM88.95

Crocs: RM139
Power plus stuffs: RM88.95

With enough money for a mani & pedi (top up RM10).

Power to Power!!

So, on our 51st Merdeka, I declare my independence to be free from being a label freak, not letting decision making being clouded by brands- at least in this area.

My very own Merdeka shoe.

Even McD's value meal has more value

Here I am, supposed to be productive and work.
But I can't, I'm letting my emotions get the better of me.
Sitting here, upset over things that are outside my control (circle of influence as described in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

Why, with advancement of technology and the blinding choice in communications, the distance between people are getting even wider?

Relationships meant nothing much, courtesy meant nothing much, feelings meant nothing much.
It's all about, I'm so busy and consumed by my own happenings that nothing, no one, can be more important than me.

Basic human courtesy of returning phone calls, or text messages, or emails are a rarity nowadays. When the message clearly stated, please revert/ awaiting your reply/ hear from you soon.

Yes, I agree, it's true we have more on our plates in this era, things are getting expensive, everyone is working a little bit more for a better life.

But have we forgot the essense of being a humanbeing?

People's life are now rush rush rush, outta my way, my priorities, that they don't mind stepping over others to get on with it.

It's true and valid, people are indeed becoming more selfish. And that, coming from a selfish only child, it's big.
It doesn't matter that they will offend or cause hurt to other people.


I thought human beings have built in feelings? No? Don't they feel upset/ hurt/ angry/ fed up/ pissed off/ puzzled when days after days no calls/text/emails are returned?...when it's VERY clearly indicated that a response is expected?!

Even myself, to my utter disgust, on rare occasions 'forgot' to response as such, sms from friends unreplied indefinitely.
'Forgot'- as I was, oh so busy, and conveniently just left it as such.
Though it certainly is not my habit of doing it, the fact that I've commited the offence remains.

It has become our way of life in this era.

What a sad sad way to live.

I missed the days when kids have no tuition/piano/judo/ballet/drawing and are free to roam the streets, like I did.

I missed the days when people get home by 5 or 6pm and sat down for dinner as a family, I'm glad I still get to do it, at 8pm!

I missed the days when neighbours are friends.

I missed the days where people are creative in spending their free time rather than jamming up the malls, knowing that they won't buy much anyway.

I missed the days where relationships are VALUED.